I was a kid. And we all played together. All the boys, girls and I.
As I grew up, I started having more male friends... because all thought that I was 'manly'.
I used to accompany my friends for kite-flying in the fields, play cricket in the narrow lanes... I used to climb tamarind trees with them and steal raw mangoes in summer...
My mother, however; never let me go for a swim with them to the river. She would also restrict me for going and having a plunge in the well... All children of my age would be chilling out in the cool water when sun would be pouring his heat; and I would be helplessly watching them... "Why can't I go? uh?", I tried asking my mother again and again. But she never answered. All she said was, "Because you are not supposed to".
As I grew a bit, the field games started to bore me a little... I felt like doing other things. Like going to the shops, watching all the merchandise they hoard, select a proper thing for me...which would suit me... I also made some female friends newly. And started accompanying them for their 'shopping' trips. All the boys would tease me.
But I did not mind.
I had started shaving by this time. And my mother always insisted me on keeping the mustache... I had no idea why.
I had strangely grown fond of the bright colored 'chunni's, 'ghagra's and the tinkling bangles and neck pieces. I wished I would buy some for myself!
When my mother learnt of this, she was enraged.
She sent me out of my village...forever.
I was sent to my uncle's place. He asked me rest for a couple of days; and said that I would be working soon. I did not quite understand...
The very next day, he asked me to shave closely... and exclaimed ,"ahh! Chikna!" when he saw me.I was still puzzled.
He took me to the market and got me all what I liked... bright saree, bangles, earrings... I was overjoyed. But hardly did I know that I would be tied with these things... forever.
I was forced into draping the saree and was asked to go out and beg...
'Claps' being the only thing with me. I was asked to clap and beg...
And somehow, I could never get out of it.
All I remember of my childhood is the closed wooden door, and my sobbing mother behind it.
I am living neutral though. No grudges and no biases.
No males and no females. JUst as neutral as I can be.
White or black. But neutral.
As I grew up, I started having more male friends... because all thought that I was 'manly'.
I used to accompany my friends for kite-flying in the fields, play cricket in the narrow lanes... I used to climb tamarind trees with them and steal raw mangoes in summer...
My mother, however; never let me go for a swim with them to the river. She would also restrict me for going and having a plunge in the well... All children of my age would be chilling out in the cool water when sun would be pouring his heat; and I would be helplessly watching them... "Why can't I go? uh?", I tried asking my mother again and again. But she never answered. All she said was, "Because you are not supposed to".
As I grew a bit, the field games started to bore me a little... I felt like doing other things. Like going to the shops, watching all the merchandise they hoard, select a proper thing for me...which would suit me... I also made some female friends newly. And started accompanying them for their 'shopping' trips. All the boys would tease me.
But I did not mind.
I had started shaving by this time. And my mother always insisted me on keeping the mustache... I had no idea why.
I had strangely grown fond of the bright colored 'chunni's, 'ghagra's and the tinkling bangles and neck pieces. I wished I would buy some for myself!
When my mother learnt of this, she was enraged.
She sent me out of my village...forever.
I was sent to my uncle's place. He asked me rest for a couple of days; and said that I would be working soon. I did not quite understand...
The very next day, he asked me to shave closely... and exclaimed ,"ahh! Chikna!" when he saw me.I was still puzzled.
He took me to the market and got me all what I liked... bright saree, bangles, earrings... I was overjoyed. But hardly did I know that I would be tied with these things... forever.
I was forced into draping the saree and was asked to go out and beg...
'Claps' being the only thing with me. I was asked to clap and beg...
And somehow, I could never get out of it.
All I remember of my childhood is the closed wooden door, and my sobbing mother behind it.
I am living neutral though. No grudges and no biases.
No males and no females. JUst as neutral as I can be.
White or black. But neutral.
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